


The Beloved and the Unloved

by orchis



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-04-22
Updated: 2012-05-25
Packaged: 2017-11-04 04:00:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/389517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orchis/pseuds/orchis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the murder of his beloved sister, Morgana, Arthur Pendragon finds himself alone to deal with his shattered memory and his angry father. The day he changes schools, a stranger shows up to meet him. His name is Merlin, and he claims to have known Morgana. But what does he know about her murder? What is 'The Seven Moons,' and what does it have to do with Morgana, Merlin and Arthur? Modern AU, based on the anime/manga Loveless.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Breathless

**Author's Note:**

> Kiss-your-feet thanks to [annieisaprat](http://annieisaprat.tumblr.com/), for being an awesome beta, always very encouraging and enthusiastic. This is based on the manga/anime Loveless, but you don't have to be familiar with that work to read this fic. More characters and relationships will show up along the way, I'll just keep altering the tags as I go. Merlin/Arthur is endgame, though. I hope you enjoy the reading as much as I enjoy the writing! Feedback and con-crit will be celebrated. :)

Gaius tapped his pen on his notebook two times before looking up at Arthur again. He had his shrink face on--a face Arthur couldn’t read. Gaius never betrayed his inner thoughts. Sometimes his eyebrows would twitch, but it was only when he was confused about what Arthur was telling him. Arthur couldn’t read Gaius at all, and he supposed that was what made him a good therapist. Still, it unnerved Arthur. It was uncanny.  
  
“It’s okay to be anxious over it, Arthur,” Gaius said, his voice leveled, like lukewarm water. Not too hot nor too cold. Not quite an advice, but neither a simple observation.  
  
“I’m not anxious,” said Arthur, unaware of his own petulance. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned back on the couch.  
  
“Not even a little bit?” asked Gaius.  
  
Arthur shook his head.  
  
“I’m just changing schools, it’s no big deal,” he said, “I’m not nervous or anything.”  
  
“Okay,” said Gaius, “Good. Most kids your age would find it testing, but I’m glad you’re fine.”  
  
“I’m not like most kids my age, are I?” said Arthur, raising an eyebrow at him. It was almost a challenge.  
  
Gaius smiled, the faintest twitch of the corners of his lips.  
  
“Really? How so?”  
  
Arthur shrugged again, and averted his glance. He wanted to look out of Gaius’ window, but the curtains were drawn. The sun was hitting the large window directly, its light filtered by the white curtains. It seem like a different time of the day inside this room. Arthur heard the ticking of the clock Gaius kept on the coffee table, a gentle reminder that his time was indeed money and that every word had a price.  
  
“Never mind that,” Arthur said, “I don’t feel like talking about school.”  
  
“Fine,” said Gaius, “What do you want to talk about, then?”  
  
Arthur didn’t answer.  
  
“What about your sister, Morgana?” he offered.  
  
“Nah,” said Arthur, “I’m tired of talking about her.”  
  
It was a lie, and he knew it. But he didn’t feel like opening that wound today.  
  
Gaius put his notebook on the lamp table, next to his chair, and entwined his fingers over his lap.  
  
“Perhaps I should go home now,” Arthur said. He still had over ten minutes of today’s session.  
  
“If that’s what you want,” said Gaius, not betraying a single thing. If he approved or disapproved of Arthur’s choice, he didn’t say or show it in any way.  
  
Arthur stood up.  
  
“Thank you,” he said, and shook Gaius hand in a monotonous gesture.  
  
“You’re welcome. I’ll see you next week, then,” said Gaius, with a polite smile.  
  
Arthur left the room, and paid Gaius’ secretary for today’s session. He went to the local library, which was only a couple of blocks away. He just wanted to kill time and not get home too early before his curfew.  
  
*  
  
Freya Bastet took pride in being a good homeroom teacher. The fact that she was fresh out of the university and that she was only 23 made her colleagues a bit wary of her at first, but she had now earned their respect. She had barely started working this autumn, but after a whole semester, her students were doing very well, they weren’t really problematic at all, and they also confided in her. She secretly suspected that the fact that she was indeed young and close to their age made them feel more comfortable around her, but she hoped she could continue to gain their trust and guide them properly in the years to come.  
  
That’s why, when in meetings during the winter break the school board was discussing in which class should they fit the transfer student, Freya volunteered. She’d read Arthur Pendragon’s file. It was a real shame, what happened to his sister, and in what horrible conditions... She told herself she’d be fine with a boy like this, a boy who had more problems than his crush nor returning his feelings or the overwhelming expectations of his parents, but nothing could prepare her for Arthur Pendragon’s cold, detached demeanour.  
  
“Hello, Arthur,” she said, when he went to meet her to the teacher’s room, the first day of school after the winter break, which was of course Arthur’s first day in this school. Some of her colleagues were still hanging about, and she noticed they were casting glances towards them. “Let’s walk to the classroom, alright?” she said, smiling at him.  
  
He nodded, and followed her obediently.  
  
“Everyone in this class is very friendly,” she said, “I’m sure they’d be glad to help you out of if you’ve got any doubts or problems.”  
  
“Okay,” he answered.  
  
She casted a look at him. He was so serious. He didn’t seem nervous at all, or perhaps this behaviour, this coldness was his way to mask his anxiousness. Freya felt bad for him. Perhaps it was the only way in which he could cope.  
  
“You can also talk to me,” she went on, “about  anything . I’m here to help you in any way I can,” she said.  
  
“Thank you,” said Arthur, “I’m sure I’ll be fine.”  
  
“All right,” she said, standing outside the door to her classroom. The bell had already rung, and some other students were rushing through the hallways to make it to class on time. Inside Freya’s classroom, it was noisy, even through the closed door. “Let’s go in, then,” she said, and opened the door.  
  
Some kids rushed to get to their seats, and the room fell silent soon afterwards. All eyes were on Freya and Arthur.  
  
She went to her desk, and Arthur followed, his demeanour relaxed. Most kids would be at least a little nervous to be standing in front of a crowd of strangers, especially a crowd of sixteen-year-old strangers, but Arthur seemed fine. Two dozens of curious boys and girls stared at him, eyeing him up and down, trying to classify him, wondering about his hobbies, his tastes, and if he could or could not join their clique. Arthur stared back at them without showing a glimpse of emotion.  
  
“Everyone,” said Freya, “This is Arthur Pendragon. He will be joining our class from today on. Be nice to him, all right?” she said.  
  
“Nice to meet you, Arthur!” the class replied, all of them at a different time, and some of them giggling. It was half a greeting and half a joke, albeit an innocent, harmless one.  
  
“Nice to meet you,” said Arthur, not moving one inch. Freya observed him, and couldn’t help feeling he was a bit like a machine in all his seriousness. Like he simply did what he had to do, what it was expected of him, as an automaton.  
  
“Arthur?” she said, “Would you care to tell us something about yourself?”  
  
Arthur looked at her briefly, before addressing his new classmates.  
  
“I like photography,” he said.  
  
“Good. Fine, your seat is at the back,” she said, pointing towards where it was, in the back row, near the center of the classroom.  
  
*  
  
The first few classes passed on in a rush. Arthur was bored to death. In his old school, they were a little more advanced, so he had already studied most of the material the teachers went through.  
  
At lunchtime, the girl next to him decided to talk to him.  
  
“Um, hi,” she said, smiling. She played with her curly hair and looked a bit coy.  
  
“Hi,” said Arthur, not in the very least interested in what she had to say.  
  
“I’m Gwen.”  
  
“Nice to meet you. I’m Arthur,” he said, nodding at her.  
  
“Um... so, you like photography?” she asked.  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“Are you considering joining the photography club?”  
  
“I hadn’t thought about that,” he said.  
  
“Well... you’re supposed to join a club, so I was just wondering if you’d like that one. There are other clubs, of course,” she said.  
  
At that moment, a boy approached them.  
  
“Hi,” he said, smiling at them.  
  
“Hey, Lance,” Gwen said, smiling brightly at him, “Arthur, this is Lancelot Du Lac. He’s a good friend of mine.”  
  
“How do you do?” said Lancelot, smiling at Arthur.  
  
Arthur returned the gesture stiffly. Maybe miss Freya was right and everyone in this class was friendly. Arthur wanted to be left alone. Questions about himself made him feel anxious, and he didn’t like to betray that vulnerability to his new classmates. Things hadn’t exactly gone down well in his old school after Morgana’s dead.  
  
“Lance is in the football team,” said Gwen, “He’s a very good player!”  
  
Lancelot blushed at the compliment.  
  
“I’m okay,” he said, chuckling, “Do you play football, Arthur?”  
  
Arthur gulped. He didn’t really know the answer. Since Morgana had died, he hadn’t played much of anything. But he couldn’t remember if before Morgana’s death he used to play. It upset him.  
  
“Excuse me,” he said, standing up, and left the classroom as soon as possible, leaving Gwen and Lancelot to stare at each other, puzzled.  
  
*  
  
The day went on long and dull. Besides Gwen and Lancelot, some other members of his class tried to talk to Arthur, but he responded so detachedly that they soon gave up and left him to himself. It was alright like that. At the end of the day, though, Gwen asked if she could walk home together with him, and Lancelot joined in, too.  
  
“I’m sorry,” he said, “I’m going somewhere else. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, grabbed his bag, and was out of the classroom before they could even respond.  
  
He preferred it that way. And he hadn’t lied either--he was going to the library, or maybe for a walk in the city. Anything not to arrive home too early. He was lost in his own mind, wondering where to go, when he was startled by someone calling his name just after he walked through the school gates to the street.  
  
“Arthur!”  
  
He stopped and looked around for the source of the voice. There was a boy, maybe a couple of years older than Arthur, resting against the wall, smiling at him. He was tall and pale, with black hair and huge rimmed glasses. His whole outfit--skinny jeans, checkered shirt, jacket, and even a scarf--reminded Arthur of Morgana. She didn’t dress like this, of course, but they used to make fun of guys like this one... the whole edgy/artsy type who thought themselves to be a special snowflake.  
  
“You’re Arthur Pendragon, right?” he said, when Arthur wouldn’t stop staring at him. He crossed the few yards between them in quick steps.   
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“I’m Merlin. Since you didn’t come from me, I came here,” he said, his smile not faltering one bit. “I hope that’s alright?”  
  
Arthur wrinkled his brow.  
  
“I’m sorry? Have we met before?” he asked, feeling slightly confused.  
  
Then it occurred to him that this guy could be someone he used to know before... before the whole Morgana catastrophe and ensuing memory loss. He flushed, and tried to soften his expression. It had happened before. Once, a couple of weeks after Morgana’s funeral, when Arthur still had hopes that his memories would come back. He randomly bumped into a girl he had, apparently, taken out on a date and never called. She was upset. Of course, when he told him, “I’m sorry, I was busy mourning my sister,” she dropped it, apologized, and never came across his path again.  
  
Merlin shook his head, though.  
  
“No, I’m sorry. Er... Didn’t Morgana tell you anything about me?” he asked. His expression had changed, he was still friendly, but he looked unsure, and judging by his tone of voice, Arthur would swear he was even disappointed about something.  
  
“No,” said Arthur.  
  
“She didn’t tell you anything? About Fighters and that kind of thing?” he asked, now clearly surprised.  
  
“No.”  
  
Merlin let out a sigh, and smiled fondly.  
  
“Well, that’s just like her, isn’t it?” he muttered to himself, but Arthur could hear him.  
  
“Why are you saying that? Did you know my sister?” he asked.  
  
Morgana didn’t talk much about her friends. Arthur new a few by name, but other than her classmates, she hadn’t introduced him to anyone. There were a lot of young people in the funeral, but Arthur doesn’t remember this so-called Merlin’s face. That’s no surprise, though. He was so upset at that time he barely registered what was going on.  
  
“Yes, I did,” he said, and his smile turned a bit sad.  
  
“And you said your name was?” Arthur asked.  
  
“Merlin. Merlin Emrys,” he said, offering his hand to shake. Arthur took it.  
  
“Were you a friend of hers?”  
  
“You could say so,” said Merlin.  
  
Arthur nodded.  
  
“And why are you here to meet me?”  
  
Merlin chuckled.  
  
“Right, you don’t know anything about it...” he trailed off and scratched the back of his head, “Um, is it okay if we go somewhere we can talk? We can go grab a bite if you want. My treat,” he said, smiling.  
  
Arthur pondered the situation for a moment. He wasn’t sure it was a good idea to go with a stranger. This guy seemed alright, though, and if he turned out to be some kind of creep (which he doubted--Morgana would’ve told him and warned him about a creepy stalker), he didn’t seem very strong.  
  
“Alright,” he said, shrugging.  
  
*  
  
They sat in a booth by one of the big windows of the cafeteria and ordered burgers and lemonades. Arthur kept looking out of the window, glad to have a distraction other than staring at Merlin’s face. Staring at people in silence only made things more awkward.  
  
“So,” he said, finally, “You were good friends with Morgana?”  
  
“We weren’t exactly friends,” said Merlin, shrugging.  
  
“Then what were you to her? Her boyfriend?” Arthur frowned. Morgana hadn’t really talked about boys to him, but he figured she must have had something going on. She was young and beautiful, and Arthur had always assumed she must have had a lot of suitors.  
  
Merlin shook his head.  
  
“Not really,” he said.  
  
“Then what?” asked Arthur, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.  
  
“We were acquainted with each other... and we knew each other very well,” he said.  
  
Arthur raised an eyebrow. What was that supposed to mean.  
  
“Fine,” he said, “And why did you come looking for me?”  
  
“Because she asked me to,” said Merlin.  
  
Arthur blinked.  
  
“Did she? When?”  
  
Merlin licked his lips, and looked down at his food. He seemed sad for a moment.  
  
“Before she died,” he said.  
  
“Morgana didn’t die,” said Arthur, glaring at him, “She was murdered.”  
  
“I know that,” said Merlin.  
  
“And have you got any idea of who could’ve done it?” Arthur asked, out of   
  
Morgana’s murder was a mystery. The police came by Arthur’s house every week or so, but they didn’t have any leads and Uther, in his bitterness, had resigned that his beloved daughter’s murder would always be an incognita, and simply took out his frustration on his remaining son.  
  
“Do you know what the Seven Moons is?” asked Merlin.  
  
Arthur shook his head. Merlin let out a sigh.  
  
“She really didn’t try to make this easy for me...” he said.  
  
“What are you talking about?” said Arthur, frowning, “Spit it out!”  
  
“It’s complicated, Arthur,” he said, “And frankly, if she didn’t talk to you about it previously, I don’t think that you’re going to believe me.”  
  
“Well, believing you or not is up to me, so out with it!” Arthur said, glaring at him.   
  
Merlin brightened up at that.  
  
“My, my,” he said, and smiled playfully, “Aren’t you a bossy one?”  
  
He took a sip of his lemonade, dragging it long enough to make Arthur bounce his leg in anxiousness.  
  
“If I tell you,” said Merlin, “Would you promise to let me finish before you make any assumptions about my mental health?”  
  
That didn’t bode well. Still, Arthur said, “Yes.”  
  
Merlin nodded.  
  
“Okay. First of all--I’ve got magic.”  
  
He looked at Arthur, expectantly.  
  
“Alright?” said Arthur, raising an eyebrow.  
  
“You don’t seem surprised.”  
  
“You said I should leave assumptions till you’re done talking,” Arthur said.  
  
“So you believe me?” Merlin asked, frowning in confusion.  
  
“Of course I don’t.”  
  
“I’ll prove it to you, then,” said Merlin.  
  
“I don’t want you to prove it to me,” said Arthur. There was nothing to prove. Magic wasn’t real. Magic was something that belonged to books and films, the kind of stuff children were enthusiastic about. Magic didn’t belong to the real world, with its real problems, its routines and emptiness. If there was magic in the world, then how come people were so unhappy? It didn’t make any sense. Not to mention, it was impossible. Arthur shrugged at Merlin. He wouldn’t believe it, no matter what he did.  
  
“But it is important that you believe me, in order to understand what’s going on...” said Merlin. He looked around. The cafeteria was half empty. “Ask me to do something, that way I’ll prove it to you. Just... something that no one else will notice.”  
  
Arthur considered it for a second. Maybe Merlin was really insane. In that case, it might be dangerous to contradict him. He might as well just indulge him before he thought of a way to get himself out of this situation and away from Merlin.   
  
“Fine... let me think of something,” said Arthur, tapping on the table with his finger. He looked around, wondering what he could do that it wouldn’t get people’s attention. Then he noticed his cup of lemonade was almost empty. “Oh, that’s right. Refill my lemonade,” he said, grinning. He knew it was impossible and that Merlin was most definitely not going to be able to do it, but it had been a while since Arthur had a little fun.  
  
“Okay,” said Merlin. Arthur looked at him, waiting for something to happen. Merlin had his gaze fixated on Arthur’s cup. His eyes shone in a golden colour for a moment, and Arthur’s lemonade was refilled.  
  
Arthur’s eyes widened comically, and he kept looking between Merlin and his glass, unsure of what to say next.  
  
“What? B-But how!?” he asked. He grabbed the cup and eyed it warily.  
  
“I told you,” said Merlin, and his smile was a bit different now. He was positively glowing. “I’ve got magic.”  
  
“No way!” Arthur said, frowning, “I don’t believe you!”  
  
“Prat,” said Merlin, chuckling.  
  
“I’m not a prat! You’re an idiot if you think that’s proof enough! It could be a trick.” he snapped.  
  
Merlin only laughed, which infuriated Arthur even more.  
  
“Yes, yes,” he said, “Such fighting spirit. You are definitely Morgana’s brother,” he added.  
  
Arthur went silent, and so did Merlin. He looked a bit wistful, completely the opposite to what he have looked like a moment ago. Arthur wondered if he had the same sad face himself. Damn it. He missed his sister.  
  
“Go ahead,” said Merlin, gesturing to the lemonade. “Taste it so you know I’m not lying.”  
  
Arthur frowned.  
  
“No way, you drink it first,” he said, reaching over the table to put the cup under Merlin’s nose. “What if it’s toxic or something.”  
  
Merlin chuckled.  
  
“I wouldn’t poison you,” said Merlin, “But fine...”  
  
He took the straw between his thumb and middle finger, and took a sip of the drink, his eyes fixated on Arthur’s.  
  
“See? It’s not poison. You can take a sip now,” said Merlin,  
  
“What the hell?” said Arthur, frowning, “Why did you drink from the straw?”  
  
“It’s like an indirect kiss, isn’t it?” said Merlin, a playful smile on his face.  
  
“You say weird stuff, man,” said Arthur. He ditched the straw and drank directly from the cup. It was lemonade. It was delicious.  
  
“Do you believe me now?” Merlin asked.  
  
“I believe you can refill lemonade glasses with just your eyes... or something,” said Arthur, pouting.  
  
“That’s a start,” said Merlin. “Everyone’s always very surprised at first, to be honest... but you’ll get used to it.”  
  
“To the existence of magic?” Arthur deadpanned.  
  
“That, and other stuff too...” he trailed off, averting his glance. For a brief moment, he seemed lost in thought, but he quickly looked at Arthur’s face and grinned. “So,” Merlin said, “I’ve got magic. And so did Morgana.”  
  
Arthur frowned.  
  
“That’s something I can’t believe,” he said.  
  
Merlin sighed.  
  
“She did. She was powerful, and she was an especially talented seer,” he said.  
  
“A talented what?”  
  
“A seer, a person who can see the future in dreams,” said Merlin, “I’m sure you’ll know that she used to suffer from nightmares when she was young?”  
  
“And those nightmares went away after a little counselling and a few months of pills” said Arthur.  
  
Merlin shook his head.  
  
“Not really, no. She just learned to control her power, that was all.”  
  
Arthur glared at him.  
  
“Do you expect me to believe that?” he said.  
  
“Why would I lie to you?”  
  
“I don’t know. Because you’re a weirdo and like to mock people?” Arthur shrugged.  
  
Merlin made a face.  
  
“Come on. Just bear with me, alright?” he said, “I promise it will all make sense... eventually.”  
  
“I don’t know. I don’t even know if you knew Morgana at all. Who the hell are you anyway?” he snapped, and stood up.  
  
“Wait!” said Merlin, “Calm down--”  
  
“No, I’m not ‘calming down’. You appear out of nowhere and start mumbling crap about magic and my sister, how do you expect me to react?” he snapped. He reached out for his bag, and digged out his wallet.  
  
“Would you at least listen to everything I’ve got to say before jumping into conclusions?” asked Merlin.  
  
Arthur stopped fumbling with his wallet to glare at him. He could feel the eyes of the other patrons on them, and his cheeks burned in embarrassment and rage.  
  
“Is everything okay?” their waitress suddenly appeared by their side.  
  
“Please?” said Merlin to Arthur, and smiled at him in a conciliatory way.  
  
Arthur’s eyes shifted from Merlin’s face to the waitress. It was still early and he didn’t want to go home. He let out a sigh, and slipped down his seat again.  
  
“Yes, sorry” he said to the waitress.  
  
“It’s okay,” she replied, smiling at them politely, “Can I get you anything else?”  
  
“We’re good, thanks” said Arthur.  
  
The waitress left.  
  
“Go on then” said Arthur, crossing his arms in front of his chest. He lifted his chin and glared at Merlin petulantly. Merlin just smiled wider.  
  
“Thanks. The Seven Moons is an organization dedicated to train people who have magic, and people connected to people who have magic,” said Merlin. “When you’re young, they pair you up with someone to study and fight.”  
  
“Fight?” asked Arthur.  
  
“We fight against each other.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
Merlin took a pause.  
  
“It’s the easiest way to increase power and learn to control it,” said Merlin.  
  
“Did Morgana fight too?” asked Arthur, wrinkling his brow. He couldn’t understand this at all. Magic, schools of magic, let alone the idea of Morgana having some sort of magic duel against other kids. It was nonsense. Morgana would’ve told him about something this important. Why would she hide it from him? Or perhaps... Perhaps she had indeed told him, and he had forgotten?  
  
“Yes.”  
  
Arthur sighed.  
  
“Tell me again, what does this have to do with me?”  
  
“Everything!”  
  
“Like what? Do you know who killed Morgana?” asked Arthur, “Because that’s the only thing I’m interested in.”  
  
It was a lie, of course. He wanted to talk about Morgana. He missed his sister terribly, and knowing a different side of her now that she was gone at least provided him with a little comfort. Still, he wasn’t going to let Merlin know that. Not yet, at least. Merlin licked his lips, and looked down for a moment.  
  
“I’ve got a good guess...” he said.  
  
“Then why didn’t you tell the police!” said Arthur, feeling all his pent up anger bursting in his face, “They’ve got nothing! You could at least give them some clues!”  
  
Merlin looked at him sadly.  
  
“I haven’t any proof, Arthur,” he said, “Only suspicions. It’s practically nothing.”  
  
Arthur took a deep breath, and when he let out the air, his demeanour was cold and contained. But he was still furious, but he lowered his voice the way Uther did. Uther always spoke softly, as if he was trying to contain himself, before bursting out and yell again like a madman.  
  
“Who did it?” Arthur said, “Tell me. I’ve got the right to know. I  demand  to know!”  
  
Merlin looked at him, and for the first time since Arthur had met him, he seemed puzzled.  
  
“Arthur, I--Ah! Crap!” before Merlin could say anything else, he jumped, startled, and started to look around.  
  
“Are you okay?” Arthur said, ignoring his anger for a moment.  
  
“Yes, yes,” said Merlin, waving his hand at him in a nonchalant gesture, “I just... I think I should go. I’m sorry.”  
  
“What? No way!” yelped Arthur, “You need to tell me what you know!”  
  
“I’m sorry, Arthur, I really need to go now...” said Merlin. He fished out his wallet from his jacket, and threw a few bills on the table.  
  
“You can’t!” Arthur snapped, “You can’t just leave now!”  
  
Merlin stood up.  
  
“I’m sorry. I’ll go looking for you at your school tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow,” he said, and offered him a hasty smile, waved, and started walking to the entrance. It took Arthur two seconds to register what was going on, and then he was hot on Merlin’s heels.  
  
“No, you can’t go!” he said, and grabbed him by the elbow once they reached the street.  
  
“Please, let go of me” said Merlin, but he didn’t sound tired or annoyed. He only seemed a bit anxious.  
  
“No, I won’t, you can’t just leave like that!” said Arthur, “Not after everything you’ve told me.”  
  
Merlin looked at him for a moment, and his features softened.  
  
“You’re right...I’m sorry. Trust me, if I didn’t have to rush away I would still be having that conversation with you, but it’s imperative that I go” said Merlin.  
  
“I’ll walk with you, then” said Arthur.  
  
“I don’t think that’s a good idea” said Merlin.  
  
“Why not? You’ve got to walk somewhere! I’ll go with you and we’ll talk on your way!” said Arthur, almost desperately. “Or at least give me your number so I can call you later!”  
  
“Whoa! Are you telling me this is the famous Loveless?” asked someone, and put a hand on Arthur’s shoulder.   
  
Arthur reacted immediately, shrugging off the hand and walking away a few steps. Merlin rolled his eyes and crossed his arms in front of his chest.  
  
“Who the hell are you?” Arthur demanded.   
  
Two strangers were smiling at him. They were older than him, perhaps even older than Merlin. One of them was huge--he had big, strong arms, he was taller and bulkier than anyone Arthur had ever known. The other one, who had put his hand on Arthur’s shoulder, was much shorter but equally well-built. He had a beard and long hair. They were both smiling goofily at him, and ignoring Merlin.   
  
“I’m Gwaine, and this is Percival” said the shorter one, pointing to his friend, “And you’re Arthur, right? Morgana Pendragon’s little brother?”  
  
Arthur glared at them. Merlin took a step towards them, putting himself between Arthur and them, half hiding Arthur.  
  
“Oh, hi Emrys,” said Gwaine, smiling at him, “What a coincidence to meet you here. But I’m afraid we can’t stay to chat, we’ve got a mission to accomplish!”  
  
Merlin narrowed his eyes.   
  
“What do you want with him?” he asked.   
  
Arthur was a bit surprised. His entire demeanour had changed from pleasant to menacing. It was in the way he talked, in the way he held himself, and especially in the way he looked at them.   
  
“Hey, Loveless” said Percival, “We’re to take you somewhere. Come with us.”  
  
“He’s not going anywhere with you” said Merlin.   
  
Arthur blinked.   
  
“Excuse me? I can decide for myself” he said, glaring at Merlin, and then he turned to the newcomers, “But no, I’m not going anywhere with you guys. And what the bloody hell do you mean by ‘Loveless’?”  
  
Gwaine and Percival shared an amused look.   
  
“He really doesn’t know anything” said Gwaine, shrugging.   
  
“That’s your name; Arthur” said Merlin.  
  
“Name? What? You lot aren’t making any sense” he snapped, “And I’m going home.”  
  
He meant to walk past them, but Gwaine reached out to grab his arm. Merlin reacted faster, though, and slapped his hand away. Arthur stopped and looked between them, surprised.   
  
“Do not touch him” said Merlin, narrowing his eyes at Gwaine.   
  
“My, my” said Gwaine, grinning, “Why are you so angry, Emrys? The boy’s got nothing to do with you.”  
  
Arthur gulped. He didn’t like how this was going.   
  
“Come with us, Arthur” said Percival, “The Seven Moons want a meeting with you.”  
  
“Don’t listen to them, Arthur” said Merlin.   
  
“Didn’t you say the Seven Moons were the ones who teach you how to do magic?” asked Arthur.   
  
“Ah so he does know something, after all,” said Gwaine, “Come on, Loveless.”  
  
“Stop calling me that” Arthur snapped, “My name is Arthur”  
  
“Don’t go Arthur” said Merlin, “These guys are dangerous.”  
  
“Look, Emrys” said Percival, taking a step towards Merlin. He was much bigger than him. Arthur gulped, but he tried his best to appear nonchalant. He refused to let these guys know he was actually getting a bit scared.  
  
“This is none of your business-” Percival went on, “-The boy’s got nothing to do with you, so why don’t you just get out of our way so we can do our job?”  
  
“I’m his Fighter” said Merlin.   
  
“What?” snapped Arthur.   
  
Gwaine chuckled.   
  
“Seriously? The nerve on him!” exclaimed Gwaine, but his expression quickly changed from amused to upset, “What? You think that now that your Sacrifice is dead, you can just switch?”  
  
“You should be ashamed” said Percival, “In fact, you should be dead.”  
  
“Say what you want” said Merlin, shrugging, “But I’m not letting you lay a finger on him.”  
  
“We should battle for him then” said Gwaine, “What do you say, Percy?”  
  
“It’s up to you. You think you can take down the great Merlin Emrys?” said Percival.   
  
Gwaine grinned.   
  
“His power’s probably decreased by half now that his sacrifice is dead. I’m pretty sure I can handle him” he said, shrugging.   
  
“Hello? Stop talking like I’m not here!” snapped Arthur.   
  
He took a look around. Some passersby were throwing curious looks at them, but so far they had managed not to get people’s attention.   
  
“If you’re not going to let us be” said Merlin, “I’ve not choice but to challenge you to a battle.”  
  
“Excellent!” said Percival.   
  
“Battle? What are you guys going on about?” said Arthur, frustrated.   
  
“We should find a more secluded place, though” said Gwaine, looking around.   
  
“There’s a small park nearby” said Merlin.   
  
“I saw it on our way here” said Percival, “Let’s go there, then.”  
  
He turned and started walking. Gwaine waited for them, with a tight smile on his face.   
  
“After you, gentlemen” he said, and made an exaggerated bow.   
  
Merlin started walking. Arthur followed him.  
  
“What are you guys talking about?” he asked.   
  
“We’re going to have a magic duel” said Merlin, “I didn’t want to introduce you to this part of the magic just yet, but it seems like I’ve no choice. Those guys move fast” he said, and licked his lips, a gesture that Arthur was learning to recognize he did when he was nervous.   
  
“But what could the Seven Moons want to do with me?” Arthur said, “And what do I have to do? Do I have to hit them or something?”  
  
Merlin shook his head.  
  
“I’ve no idea, Arthur” he said, “But I don’t think it’s good. As for the fight, don’t worry about it. Just stand close to me and I’ll protect you.”  
  
“I don’t need to be protected!” snapped Arthur.  
  
Merlin chuckled.   
  
“It’s fine, Arthur. I’m the Fighter anyway, which means I’m supposed to throw the spells. The Sacrifice--in this case, you--is the one that takes the damage and bears the pain” said Merlin, “It’s a good system and it works. But don’t worry about it, I won’t let them hurt you.”  
  
Arthur gaped.  
  
“Are you saying that when someone punched you, my sister used to take the blow?” he asked, appalled.   
  
“Er... sort of?” said Merlin, “But don’t worry. Morgana never got hurt” his expression changed as he spoke, his face turning serious, “I made sure of it.”  
  
Arthur frowned, annoyed. He didn’t like not knowing what was going on, and he’d had quite a lot of that every since his sister died and his amnesia kicked in. They arrived to the park very soon, and found a relatively secluded area.   
  
“What if someone comes?” he asked, “Won’t they get hurt?”  
  
Merlin shook his head.   
  
“Don’t worry about anything, Arthur. Just stay close to me.”  
  
“Awww, isn’t that cute!” said Gwaine, from where he and Percival were facing them, a few yards away.   
  
Gwaine’s tone was sarcastic, playful even, but Percival looked furious.   
  
“You’re scum, Emrys” he said, “We might as well get rid of you right now.”  
  
“Be my guest” said Merlin, “Battle System initiate” he said, and his eyes glowed golden.   
  
Arthur didn’t feel anything, didn’t feel a change in the air or the atmosphere, but the place was different. Exactly in the middle of the distance between Arthur and Percival, a tiny dark ball appeared. It expanded quickly, until it surrounded them all. It seemed like they were inside of a dome, and Arthur could still see the park, but it was darkened, as if he was looking at it through a polarized window.   
  
Merlin took off his glasses and put them in the inside poker of his jacket. Then, he took out his scarf, and gave it to Arthur.   
  
“Hold on to that for me, will you?” he said, absently.   
  
Arthur took it and wrapped it around his left hand and arms. He took a look at Merlin, and his eyes widened when saw Merlin’s neck and collarbone. He had faint marks around his neck, like the ones caused by barbed wire. Right below the hollow of his throat, he had a peculiar scar--the world BELOVED, as if it’d been carved into his skin with a knife.  
  
Arthur wanted to ask him about the scars, but before he could say anything, Merlin spoke again, this time to Gwaine and Percival.    
  
“We, Loveless, challenge you to a battle” said Merlin.   
  
“ ‘We , Loveless’, uh?” said Percival, glaring at him, “Breathless accepts the challenge!” he said, and his eyes glowed golden.   
  
“Um... what am I supposed to do?” asked Arthur.   
  
Merlin turned to smile at him.   
  
“You could give me a kiss” he said, “For luck.”  
  
“What- no way!” said Arthur, blushing, and stepped away.   
  
Merlin chuckled.   
  
“Come closer to me, you prat” he said, “And let me hold your hand at least.”  
  
“Why?” asked Arthur.   
  
“Body contact increases my powers” said Merlin, and looked at Gwaine and Percival, who were discussing something with one another.   
  
“O-Okay” said Arthur, nervously, and offered Merlin his right hand. Merlin took it and gave it a squeeze.  
  
“It’ll be fine” said Merlin, smiling at him, “I will protect you.”  
  
Arthur blushed.   
  
“You say such weird things...”  
  
“Let’s form a bond between us” said Merlin, but Arthur wasn’t sure if it was for him, “A bond stronger than anything.”  
  
Arthur’s heart skipped a beat.   
  
“What?”  
  
“I’m your Fighter, Arthur” Merlin said, “I love you. I’ll protect you. I’ll do anything for you.”  
  
“What?” Arthur repeated, but he didn’t withdraw his hands, “Is this part of the spells or...? Just what are you saying?”  
  
Merlin just smiled at him.   
  
“It’s bullshit!” yelled Gwaine, from his side of the battlefield. “You can’t belong to two Sacrifices. Your Sacrifice is dead, you should die, too!” he said.   
  
“Stop talking and start attacking” snapped Merlin, “I’m getting bored here!”  
  
“With a power so strong that will take your breath away,” said Gwaine and Percival at unison, “We, Breathless, shall defeat you!”   
  
They pressed the palms of their hands together, and they glowed golden where they touched, just like their eyes. Arthur observed them, curious.   
  
“Pierce!” said Gwaine, his hand extended before him, “A thousand needles that will bring you to your knees!”  
  
Arthur swore he could see a thousand tiny rays of light, like needles, quickly flying towards them, but before he could feel their impact, Merlin extended his free hand, and yelled back, “Deflect! The needles change direction with the wind!”  
  
The rays of light stopped, turned around and in the opposite direction, towards Gwaine and Percival.  
  
“Defence!” said Gwaine, taken aback. A wall of light appeared before them, stopping the needles, which fell to the ground like crumbles.   
  
He was panting now, surprised.   
  
“Well, he  is Emrys” he said to Percival, and smiled, “Of course he’d be this powerful, even without his Sacrifice.”  
  
“That’s good” said Percival, returning his smile, “That way we won’t be bored.”  
  
“On the other hand” said Gwaine, “We should try to do this fast, lest we get in trouble.”  
  
Percival nodded.   
  
“You’re right.”  
  
“Burst!” said Gwaine, “Tear them apart!”  
  
“Defence!” said Merlin.   
  
“Restrain!” said Gwaine, “Bring them down!”  
  
Arthur yelled, startled by a sudden, sharp pain in his wrists. He let go of Merlin’s hand and noticed he had light chains around his wrists and his neck. They were squeezing him, making his wrists hurt and his breathing erratic.   
  
“What is this?” he asked, and let out a cough. It was hard to breathe. He noticed that Merlin too had these chains, but he didn’t look pained.   
  
“Come here” Merlin told him, and put his arm around his shoulder, pressing him to his side. “Hang in there, Arthur. I promise you it’ll be over soon.”  
  
“Oh look at that!” said Percival, “They aren’t even bound together yet!”  
  
“Of course they wouldn’t be” said Gwaine, narrowing his eyes, “Emrys is someone else’s Fighter!”  
  
“Okay, this hurts” said Arthur, and winced internally at how panicky his voice was starting to sound.   
  
“I’m sorry, I’ll finish them now” said Merlin. He pulled Arthur even closer, and pressed a kiss to his temple. It was awkward and unfamiliar, but it soothed Arthur’s pain a little bit, so he didn’t push him away.   
  
Sweat was forming in Merlin’s brow, but his chained hand was steady as he reached out and said, “Torrent! Wash away the evil!”  
  
“Defence!”  
  
“Absorb! Take the power of their defence and finish them!”  
  
Arthur gasped as a wave of light, strong and rumbling, hit Gwaine and Percival directly, engulfing them. Percival yelled in pain, and soon it was all over. The chains had disappeared, and so had the dome. Percival was on his knees, panting and shaking, and Gwaine was holding him, surprised.  
  
“Percy? Hey, mate, hang in there!” he said, clearly scared. He turned to Merlin and Arthur, glowering, “What the hell was that!”  
  
“You said you were in a hurry,” said Merlin, “And you hurt Arthur.”  
  
“Fuck off!” said Gwaine, “I don’t know how you’ve got the nerve to battle against us! I don’t know why you’re this powerful when you’ve lost your Sacrifice. You are a disgrace!” he yelled.   
  
Arthur looked between them in shock.  
  
“Is he alright?” he asked Merlin, quietly.   
  
Then he noticed he was still pressed close to Merlin’s side, and awkwardly stepped away.   
  
Merlin smiled at him.   
  
“He’ll be okay soon” he said. “Let’s go, they won’t bother us for now” he said, and turned away.   
  
Arthur was ready to follow him, when Gwaine’s voice stopped them.   
  
“This isn’t over yet, Emrys!” he shouted, “We’ll be back!”  
  
Merlin looked at them over his shoulder.   
  
“And we’ll be waiting.”  
  
“You’re disgusting!” said Gwaine, “‘We’, ‘us’, ‘Loveless’. You talk like the boy owns you, but he doesn’t. Your Sacrifice is dead,  Beloved , and you should be too!”  
  
“You keep saying that” said Merlin, narrowing his eyes, “But you’ve no idea what you’re actually talking about.”  
  
He turned around and started to walk away, fuming. Arthur gasped and followed him.   
  
*  
  
“What was that all about?” he asked, once they were out of the park.   
  
“It’s late” said Merlin, “I will walk you home.”  
  
“Wait” said Arthur, “We need to talk.”  
  
“No, we don’t. Not now, at least,” he snapped.   
  
“But what happened back then?” Arthur asked.  
  
“A battle” said Merlin,.   
  
“I know that, but what about those guys? Are they really hurt?”  
  
“I told you they’re fine.”  
  
“And why do they keep saying you should be dead?”   
  
“Because they’re twats.”  
  
Arthur stopped walking.  
  
“Oh come on!” he said, throwing his arms up in the air.   
  
Merlin stopped, a few feet away from him, and turned around.   
  
“What?” he deadpanned.   
  
“You come out of nowhere, and start talking weird stuff about magic and my sister and battles, and then these guys show up, and we fight, and...” Arthur trailed off, “I don’t know what the hell is going on! You have to explain it to me.”  
  
Merlin sighed.   
  
“Not now-” he said.   
  
“-Yes, now!” said Arthur, losing his patience, “I need to know what’s going on! Everything! And what if those guys show up again and I’m alone? What am I supposed to do!” he groaned, “And Morgana! What does she have to do with this! And what’s all that crap that you belonged to your Sacrifice? Was she your Sacrifice?”  
  
Merlin made a face, and crossed his arms in front of his chest. He had put on his glasses and scarf again before they got out of the park, and now he looked like a common hipster. Arthur felt a wave of nostalgia. Morgana would be laughing at him right now, saying that the 80s should stay in the 80s, or something like that.   
  
“I’ll tell you all about it” Merlin said, finally, “But not now. It’s getting late and you should go home now.”  
  
“When will you talk to me, then?” asked Arthur.   
  
“Do you have a mobile phone?” said Merlin.   
  
Arthur shook his head.   
  
“Alright;. I’ll give you my number, anyway, and you can call me if anything turns up,” he said. They started walking again, and they remained silent until a couple of blocks away from Arthur’s house.   
  
“I’ll be back to pick you up, after school tomorrow” said Merlin.  
  
“Really?”  
  
“I promise,” said Merlin, smiling softly at him, “We’ll talk then, alright?”  
  
Arthur nodded.   
  
“Fine.”  
  
They turned right, and arrived at Arthur’s street. Arthur stopped. He wasn’t sure he’d want Uther to see him with Merlin. Who knew what mood the man would be in today. Arthur could lie, of course, he didn’t have to tell Uther that Merlin was a friend of Morgana’s, but lying became tedious and it could complicate stuff. There were just so many things you could make up before you got tangled in your own mess.  
  
Not that it had worked before, when he tried to fool Uther. Uther could always tell when Arthur wasn’t being honest, or maybe he could not, but he still got angry every time Arthur did something that didn’t match with what he called “the old Arthur.” Whether Arthur had truly been someone else before Morgana’s dead, or Uther simply had a weird idea in his head of what his son was supposed to be like, Arthur didn’t know for sure.   
  
Merlin snapped him back to reality, offering a piece of paper.   
  
“That’s my number” he said, grinning cheekily, “Don’t lose it.”  
  
Arthur took it and nodded. He folded it and put it inside his pocket.  
  
“I should go now” he said, fidgeting.  
  
“Fine,” said Merlin. Before Arthur turned to go, though, he swiftly grabbed his face and pressed a kiss to Arthur’s cheek.   
  
Arthur gasped and pushed him away, glaring.  
  
“What was that all about?”  
  
“It was a goodbye kiss, of course!” said Merlin, shrugging. He turned around and began to walk away.   
  
“Excuse me” said Arthur, angrily, “You can’t just go around kissing people without their permission!”  
  
Merlin chuckled and stopped. He looked at Arthur over his shoulder.  
  
“It was just a peck! To demonstrate my affections.”  
  
“Affections? What are you talking about?”  
  
Merlin smiled at him.   
  
“Bye Arthur!” he said, and turned around the corner.   
  
And Arthur was left alone, glaring at an empty street. _  
_


	2. Memoryless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's not that," said Arthur, shrugging Merlin's hand off. He averted his glance, uncomfortable. "I just... I don't remember much from my past," he said.
> 
> Merlin frowned.
> 
> "How come?"
> 
> "I... It's a long story," he said, risking a peek at Merlin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot to [irisandlavender](http://irisandlavender.tumblr.com/) for being an awesome beta. :) Any remaining mistakes are entirely my fault. Sorry about the delay, I wanted to post this earlier, but real life got in the way. The next chapter won't take that long to come, I promise. :)

Arthur dreamed about Morgana that night. It was a relatively pleasant dream, though, unlike the nightmares he tended to have ever since he’d found her corpse, some months ago. It wasn’t a memory, but it wasn’t entirely made up, either.   
  
Arthur was swimming in the ocean, and Morgana was lying on a towel in the sand, reading a book under a parasol. Arthur remembered faintly that Uther had taken them to Greece one summer, a couple of years ago, and this dream resembled that. Arthur had been swimming for a while, and he was tired. He got out of the water and dropped himself next to Morgana, on the warm sand.   
  
Arthur was fourteen, and Morgana had just turned nineteen. She paid no mind to Arthur when he sat next to her. She did pay attention to him, though, when he reached out to grab her drink.   
  
“Hands off, Arthur” she commanded, slapping his hand away.   
  
“I just want a sip!”  
  
“You’re too young to drink that” she said, but she was smiling. She took off her sunglasses and lay them on the towel.   
  
“I’m thirsty” he said, pouting.   
  
“Well, go buy yourself a bottle or water or something” she said, shrugging. At that moment, Arthur knew she would indulge him if he kept nagging.  
  
“Please?” he asked, smiling at her.  
  
Morgana rolled her eyes.   
  
“Just one sip” she said, “And don’t tell dad.”  
  
Arthur snorted.   
  
“As if!” he said, and took a sip of her drink. It was something sweet and ice-cold, but slightly bitter too, with the alcohol.  
  
Morgana chuckled and sat up, setting her book aside. She looked to the ocean, into the distance, and her face turned pensive, serious. Arthur stared at her. She was wearing her long, black hair in a braid. She looked very pale in her navy blue swimsuit--Morgana never wore bikinis, in spite of having the body type. There were red marks, though, around the straps, and on her cheekbones and nose, where all the sunscreen and parasols had failed her.   
  
Morgana had a mark on her collarbone, right below the hollow of her throat. Arthur got slightly closer, to take a better look at it. It was a scar, as if someone had written the word “BELOVED” over her skin. He knew then that he was dreaming. Morgana didn’t have that mark, but someone else did. Arthur didn’t try to remember this person’s name, because now that he knew he was dreaming, he had to make the most of it.  
  
“Hey,” he said, putting his hand on Morgana’s shoulder.   
  
She turned to him, smiling, wrapped her arms around his neck when he put his arms around her waist and brought her closer. Arthur buried his face in her neck, and inhaled. She smelled of sunscreen and sand, and faintly of that expensive perfume Uther had bought her for her birthday.   
  
“I miss you so much,” said Arthur, and he noticed then that he had started to cry.  
  
“It’s okay, Arthur” she said, and she squeezed him harder, grabbed his shoulders, “I miss you too. But you’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.”  
  
Arthur choked out a sob.   
  
“Come back to me” he said, ignoring how desperate and needy he sounded. He didn’t have it in his heart to be embarrassed about it. All he could feel at the moment was nostalgia, and a infinite sorrow, black and bottomless like a pit.   
  
He woke up with tears in his eyes.  
  
*  
  
Gwen greeted him as soon as he set foot in the classroom. She looked refreshed and rested, happy even. Arthur couldn’t help but envy her. There was something about her that told Arthur she knew nothing about death or sorrow, about angry fathers or lost sisters. She possessed a type of innocence that Arthur had already lost.   
  
“Are you okay?” she asked, “You seem tired.”  
  
“I’m fine” he said, shrugging, and he sat down, “I didn’t sleep well last night. That’s all.”  
  
“Ah, what a shame” she said, “I hate when that happens. It’s always difficult to adjust to being back to school after a break, uh?”  
  
She seemed to be expecting some sort of response or acknowledgment from Arthur, but since it didn’t come, she continued talking.  
  
“Last night I really wanted to stay up and read, but my mum told me to turn out the lights” she chuckled.   
  
“What were you reading?” asked Arthur.   
  
“ The Hunger Games !” she said, and her entire complexion brightened even more. “I quite like it, have you read it? There’s a movie coming out soon...”  
  
Arthur shook his head.  
  
“I don’t read those kind of books” he said.   
  
“Oh... what kind of books do you like, then?”   
  
“I like philosophy” he said.   
  
“That’s a bit difficult” said Gwen.   
  
At that moment, Lancelot approached them.   
  
“Good morning!” he said.   
  
He too was beaming. It made no sense. Lancelot and Gwen were glowing, like they had captured sunlight in their faces. They had nothing to do with Arthur. They had no place in Arthur’s world. Even in sunny days, it all seemed grey and dull to him. Gwen and Lancelot were too bright, too cheerful. They threw the scheme of colours out of balance.   
  
They kept talking, and it took Arthur a while to realize they were talking to him. They had asked him a question and were waiting for his answer.  
  
“Come again?” he asked.   
  
“I said, what philosophers you like reading?” said Lancelot, “I like Jean Paul Sartre a lot, though I’ve only read a couple of his plays.”  
  
“I like Nietzsche” said Arthur.  
  
“Oh,” said Lancelot, making his mouth perfectly round for a brief moment, “I know of him, but I haven’t read any of his works.”  
  
Arthur shrugged.   
  
“You should. You might like it.”  
  
At that moment, miss Freya entered the classroom. Lancelot waved at them goodbye and rushed to his own seat. Arthur crossed his arms on his table and rested his chin on top. He was sleepy, but he didn’t want to get in trouble for falling asleep in class. This was going to be a long day.   
  
*  
  
At the end of the last class, miss Freya asked him to stay behind. Arthur did. Gwen hovered around too, taking long in putting her things in her backpack, which meant that Lancelot was still in the classroom too when Arthur finally approached miss Freya's desk.  
  
"Did you want to talk to me about something?" he asked her.  
  
She nodded.  
  
"Have you picked a club to join yet?" she said. Arthur shook his head. “That's alright, all club activities don't start until next week, but make sure you've chosen one by Friday."  
  
"I will," he said.  
  
She took out a sheet of paper from a folder she had on top of her desk, and handed it to Arthur.  
  
"That's a list of the clubs, their schedules, and requirements to join. Most clubs get together only once a week. If you're interested in joining the photography club, you can ask Mithian about their activities. She's in that club," miss Freya said.  
  
"That's okay," said Arthur, "I can't. They meet in Friday afternoons and I've got something to do."  
  
"I see," said miss Freya, "Do you take lessons of something outside school?"  
  
"Something like that."  
  
The truth was that Arthur met Gaius every Friday after school, but he wasn't going to tell her that. In his experience, people always asked too many questions if you told them you were seeing a therapist.  
  
"Well, you could join the book club," miss Freya said, "I'm in charge of that one. We read one book per month. I make a list of possible books, and every month the students vote to pick one to read. I try to add a few titles of many different genres, to give it variety and make it different from the kind of books we read for English."  
  
Arthur smiled at her and nodded.  
  
"That sounds interesting. I'll think about it."  
  
She returned his smile warmly.  
  
"Fine."  
  
She took a look at the seats of the classroom, where Gwen and Lancelot were trying very hard to pretend they still had something to do to be hanging around.  
  
"And how do you like the school so far?" miss Freya asked.  
  
"It's nice," Arthur said, smiling, “Everyone's very nice and friendly!"  
  
"I'm glad to hear that," said Freya, "But if anything comes up, you can come and talk to me, alright?"  
  
"Yes," said Arthur, and he nodded enthusiastically, "Thank you very much, miss Freya. Will there be anything else?"  
  
"No, that's it. You can go now, I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
"See you tomorrow!" said Arthur. He waved at her and left the classroom.  
  
Gwen and Lancelot caught up with him when he was going downstairs.  
  
"Hey Arthur!" said Gwen, "Lance and I are going to the arcade. Wanna come too?"  
  
"It's not far from here," said Lancelot.  
  
"Thanks, but I've already got plans," said Arthur. They went out of the school building and were walking under the sunlight towards the gates. Arthur hoped that Merlin was already there, waiting for him.  
  
"Oh," said Gwen, and Arthur didn't miss the note of disappointment in her voice. "Are you meeting someone from your old school?"   
  
"Not really," said Arthur.   
  
Merlin was indeed waiting for him. He was leaning back against the wall, his arms crossed in front of his chest. He was wearing sunglasses today, and his scarf was blue. He immediately spotted Arthur and approached him with a smile on his face.  
  
"Hello, Arthur," he said. He looked over Arthur's shoulder, to where Gwen and Lancelot were hovering awkwardly, and he added, "Are these your friends?"  
  
"Oh hi!" said Gwen, coming forward, before Arthur could say anything, "I'm Gwen! This is Lancelot," she said, pointing to Lancelot.  
  
"Nice to meet you," said Lancelot, smiling at Merlin.  
  
"I'm Merlin."  
  
Merlin took off his sunglasses to greet them, and Arthur noticed, for the first time, the colour of his eyes. They were very blue, and his scarf matched them, brought them out. When he shook Gwen's and Lancelot's hands and smiled at them, he looked attractive, all sharp cheekbones, white teeth and dimples.   
  
"We were just heading for the arcade," said Gwen, curling her finger around her hair, "Would you like to come with us?"  
  
Lancelot was still smiling, but he didn’t say Merlin could come too. Arthur could roll his eyes, but he stopped himself. Gwen was way too friendly for his liking.  
  
"I'm afraid we've already got plans," Arthur said, "But you go ahead. Maybe next time!"   
  
He grabbed Merlin's wrist and pulled him away.  
  
"Bye!" said Arthur, waving as they walked away.   
  
Merlin waved at them, too.  
  
"It was nice to meet you!" he said. He went along with Arthur, moving in whatever direction Arthur pulled him. They soon turned around a corner, disappearing from Gwen and Lancelot's view.  
  
*  
  
"Your friends seem nice," said Merlin, once they were a few blocks away from the school and Arthur had let go of his wrist.  
  
"They aren't my friends" said Arthur, "I barely met them yesterday. They're just my classmates."  
  
"Well, friends or not, the girl likes you," said Merlin.  
  
"What? Don't be ridiculous!" snapped Arthur, and much to his own dismay, he blushed. "She was trying to flirt with you!"  
  
"Aw, are you jealous?" said Merlin, and Arthur hated the mocking tone in his voice.  
  
"Of course not!" he said, "I don't like Gwen, or any other girl for that matter."  
  
"Interesting," said Merlin, "Do you like a boy then?"    
  
Arthur blushed even harder.  
  
"Don't be absurd," he said.  
  
"What do you mean?" said Merlin, but his tone was serious now, "You’re old enough to start dating, and it's a perfectly reasonable question. Or do you have something against gay people?"  
  
"I'm not homophobic!" said Arthur, and stopped walking.  
  
"Well that's good then," said Merlin, and his smile returned, "Because I'm gay."  
  
"Oh," said Arthur, and all the annoyance he'd been feeling abandoned him, "okay."  
  
"Is that a problem?" Merlin asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
Arthur blushed even harder under Merlin's scrutinizing eyes, but he wasn't sure if it was because of the awkwardness of the conversation, or because he was now very much aware that Merlin was attracted to other men.   
  
"No! Of course not!" he said.  
  
"Fine," said Merlin, and they resumed walking.   
  
After some time, Merlin broke the silence again.   
  
"So," he said, "You didn't answer my question."  
  
"What question?"  
  
"Do you like a boy?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Oh. Well, have you ever liked another boy?"   
  
"I don't know," said Arthur, shrugging. He didn't like these questions much.  
  
Merlin chucked.  
  
"What do you mean you don't know?" he said, "Surely you would know if you've ever been attracted to another man."  
  
"Well, I don't know!" snapped Arthur, "And it's none of your business anyway, so you can stop prying!"  
  
"I'm sorry," said Merlin, putting his hand on Arthur's shoulder to stop his walk. Arthur turned to face him, and Merlin looked genuinely sorry. "You are right--it's none of my business. I should know better than to ask that sort of questions."  
  
"It's not that," said Arthur, shrugging Merlin's hand off. He averted his glance, uncomfortable. "I just... I don't remember much from my past," he said.  
  
Merlin frowned.  
  
"How come?"  
  
"I... It's a long story," he said, risking a peek at Merlin. He was afraid Merlin would be looking at him with pity, out with the same awkwardness and detachment other people did when he explained of his condition, but he only found curiosity and concern in his eyes. Arthur shifted his weight from one foot to another.  
  
"Maybe we should go somewhere we can talk."  
  
*  
  
In the end, they settled for the park close to Arthur’s house. It was an unusually warm winter, and a sunny day, so there were some kids playing, and even some mothers keeping an eye on them. Arthur and Merlin sat on a bench, but they were apart from everyone and they had enough privacy to talk.   
  
“I’m not sure how much you know about Morgana’s murder,” said Arthur, “But I was the one who found the body.”  
  
“I read about it in the newspaper,” said Merlin, “But I don’t know any details. It said that you were the one who found it, and that the body was in your school. That was all.”  
  
Arthur nodded, and took a deep breath before speaking again.   
  
“I woke up way too early that day. Like an hour and a half before I was supposed to. I couldn’t go back to sleep, so I just dressed, and had breakfast, and left for school as usual. Just early,” he said. He took another pause, looking at the kids playing a several yards away from them.   
  
Merlin shifted in the bench, putting his feet on it. He bent his knees, wrapped his arms around his legs and rested his chin on top of his knees.   
  
“The school was almost empty when I arrived,” he said, “I was the first one in the classroom. Morgana was there--I mean, her body. It was in my seat. I thought... at first I thought it was a joke, you know? It was still a bit dark, and when I turned on the lights and I saw there was someone there, I thought... I thought it was a joke. A dummy.” Arthur shrugged.   
  
“But... it smelled pretty bad. And it was weird. Just... As I approached it, I had a terrible feeling. I thought of her. I don’t know why, but I knew it was her, even though it was impossible to recognize her.”  
  
Arthur gulped. His eyes watered, and he tried to hide it from Merlin.   
  
“Her body had been burnt. I got close enough to notice it was actually a corpse, and I knew, somehow I knew it was her. I turned around and screamed, but I was in shock and I fainted before I could get out of the classroom. When I woke up, I was in the hospital,” said Arthur.   
  
It was an unusually bright day for such a gloomy story, Merlin mused. He spared a glance in Arthur’s direction. The boy was upset, but trying his best to look composed. Seeing him like that stirred an old ache in Merlin’s chest. He longed to get closer to Arthur, to make him understand that Merlin was a friend, someone he could trust. He waited, though, in silence until Arthur was ready to keep talking.   
  
“When I woke up,” Arthur said, “I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t remember my name, or anything. As the hours went by, I was able to remember some things--my name’s Arthur Pendragon, I’m 16. I’ve got a sister named Morgana, and my father’s name is Uther... Alice, the doctor, kept asking me what was the last thing I remembered. At first, I couldn’t remember anything. But then I remembered that I had awoken early and went to school. That was all. I asked about my sister and my father. They told me they had informed my father and that he’d surely visit soon.   
  
“Turns out, my dad was sorting out Morgana’s death. Talking to the police, hiring a funeral service... all that stuff. He came for me a day later. Alice had already run a bunch of tests. There’s nothing wrong with my brain, no head injury. Mine was dissociative amnesia, a lost of memory due to psychological causes.”  
  
“I didn’t know about that,” said Merlin, “I’m sorry.”  
  
Arthur shrugged.   
  
“It’s fine. I mean, I did recognize my father when he finally came to get me. And I fully understood what he meant when he said Morgana had been murdered,” he gulped. “During the funeral, some people came to me to offer their condolences, but I didn’t recognize anybody. Afterwards, some memories started to come back, little by little. First it was the memory of finding her corpse. Then more stuff... time I had spent with her, some important events of my childhood. I came back to school after a week or so. The police had forbidden the access to our classroom, thankfully. I didn’t recognize any of my classmates. Even those who claimed to be good friends with me, who had apparently called me and been there in the funeral, were like strangers to me. I didn’t know anything about myself. I didn’t know what I liked, what I didn’t. What books I’d read, what films I liked. I didn’t know if I liked sports. I didn’t even remember having taken a girl out on a date a few days before Morgana’s murder.  
  
“In the end, I got really upset with everyone and their stupid questions and pity looks. I threw a tantrum, and I was sent home,” said Arthur, “And my dad sent me to a shrink. He recommended I changed schools.”  
  
“That’s why you’re in a new school now,” said Merlin, mostly to let Arthur know that he was listening.   
  
Arthur nodded, his eyes still fixated in front of him, never acknowledging Merlin. It seemed easier for him to talk like this.   
  
“I haven’t been able to remember much of my past. Just... Things about Morgana,” said Arthur, shrugging, “So I can’t really answer to you when you ask if I’ve ever liked a boy. I just don’t know.”  
  
Merlin smiled, softly.   
  
“Okay. I won’t ask again. Sorry.”  
  
“It’s fine. You couldn’t have possibly known,” said Arthur.   
  
“But it’s strange, isn’t it?” said Merlin, “You’d think your amnesia was induced by the shock of... of finding Morgana’s corpse. In that case, you would be able to remember anything but that, wouldn’t you?”   
  
“It’s weird,” said Arthur, “But there’s no way to know. Alice says brain is a mystery, and that these things happen and sometimes people remember and sometimes they don’t. So there’s the possibility that I could actually remember, but there’s no way of knowing if it’ll happen at all”  
  
“I see,” said Merlin, “Well... There’s nothing you can do about it, right? If you’re going to remember, you’re going to remember. If not, then you won’t.”  
  
Arthur pouted at him.  
  
“That’s easy for you to say. You’re not the one who’s forgotten everything about himself.”  
  
Merlin chuckled, even though he knew he should probably stay serious. But Arthur looked cute when pouting.   
  
“But it’s not really up to you, Arthur. You can only keep on living your life,” he said.  
  
“I suppose you’re right. That’s what my shrink says anyway,” said Arthur, “But my father doesn’t like that idea. He thinks I’m not trying hard enough. He wants me to be like I used to be, and I can’t do that, can I?”  
  
Merlin licked his lips. He stretched his limbs, and searched his mind for an answer.   
  
“That isn’t your fault, Arthur,” he said, “His expectations are his own. Let him deal with the frustration and don’t carry it yourself.”  
  
Arthur smiled wryly.   
  
“I guess” he said, and crossed his arms. He leaned back and sinked a bit, resting his head awkwardly in the bench’s back. Merlin smiled at the sight.   
  
Arthur didn’t look anything like Morgana. Morgana’s eyes were green, and soft. Arthur’s were bright blue, and his skin was tanned. Morgana had been lithe and slender, and Arthur was well-built, a bit robust. Merlin could tell he was into sports, at least from the constitution of his body. He was blond, and his jaw was strong. Merlin looked at him, under the sunlight. Arthur was carrying the world on his shoulders, all those sorrows at such a young age. It was a boy easy to love. Carrying out Morgana’s request wasn’t a difficult job for Merlin.   
  
“It’s okay, Arthur,” said Merlin, “It’s not as if you can go back to what you used to be like. People change, especially after having faced such difficult things.”  
  
Arthur looked at him, his eyes wide and vulnerable.   
  
“You think so?”  
  
Merlin nodded.   
  
“Yep. Besides, I really like the Arthur you are right now” he said, grinning.  
  
Arthur blushed and looked away.  
  
“You’re doing it again” he said, morosely.   
  
“What am I doing again?”  
  
“You’re saying weird things again,” said Arthur, and pouted.   
  
Merlin’s smile only got wider.   
  
“Why? Is it weird to say that I like you? I’m 19. Is it so weird that I like you?”  
  
“I’ll be 17 in a couple of months,” said Arthur, shrugging.   
  
“And I turned 19 a couple of weeks ago,” said Merlin, “So? It’s not the age difference, is it?”  
  
Arthur shook his head.   
  
“You’ve just met me. How can you say you like me? Love me, even. You said you loved me, yesterday,” he frowned, “Or was that some sort of spell?” he turned to look at Merlin, alarmed, and blushed, “You’re going to have to walk me through this, because I don’t get it at all.”  
  
“It wasn’t a spell. It was a confession,” said Merlin.   
  
Arthur frowned.   
  
“I love you, Arthur,” said Merlin. He shifted, sitting on his ankle and letting his other leg fall on the ground, so he could look at Arthur directly.   
  
“That’s impossible,” said Arthur, “You don’t even know me.”  
  
“That is not quite true,” said Merlin, “When Morgana was in a good mood, you were all she talked about.”  
  
“Really?” Arthur asked, “What did she say about me?”  
  
“A lot of things,” said Merlin, smiling, “About stuff you guys did together, or things you liked, or things you had said. She loved you very much. And through her eyes, I think I learned to love you, too.”  
  
Arthur’s eyes filled with tears. He looked away, embarrassed.   
  
“It doesn’t matter anyway,” said Arthur, “I’m not that person any more.”  
  
“Like I said, I do like you. Just like you are right now,” said Merlin.   
  
Arthur risked a look at him. His eyes were red, but he wasn’t crying. He was good at pushing down his feelings, apparently, but not so good at hiding them from Merlin.  
  
“You say weird stuff.”  
  
Merlin chuckled.  
  
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to... I don’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable, or anything. You’ve got enough problems without someone barging into your life and telling you they love you. But... I do. I’ve got feelings for you. And I came to find you because Morgana asked me to. I don’t expect you to return my feelings or anything. I just want you to be aware of them.”  
  
“Did Morgana really ask you to come looking for me?”  
  
“The day before she died, she came looking for me at uni,” said Merlin, “She told me she had foreseen her death, and if it came to pass, I had to look for you and become your fighter, because the Seven Moons would surely want you.”  
  
Arthur pressed his lips together, frowning.   
  
“What do those guys want with me?”  
  
Merlin shrugged.  
  
“My guess is as good as yours. I think they want to train you, like they train so many people. But it’s weird, because they would’ve find you earlier. They came to me when I was 10, and Morgana was almost 13. Maybe she didn’t want you to join the Seven Moons, she wanted to keep them away from you. Now that she’s dead, they can recruit you.”  
  
“Did they kill her?”  
  
“I don’t know,” said Merlin, “I think they did. But I’m not sure.”  
  
“If they killed her, how do they expect me to join them?” Arthur spat. “How dare they! How can they possibly look at me in the face, and ask me to go with them, when they’re responsible for my sister’s death!”  
  
Arthur was shaking with rage. Merlin put his hand on his shoulder to try to steady him.   
  
“I’m yours now, Arthur,” he said, “I’m your Fighter. Give me an order, and I’ll execute it. I love you. I’ll do anything for you. If you want me to kill those who murdered Morgana, I will do it.”  
  
Arthur looked at him, his eyes wide and surprised.   
  
“What are you saying?” he said, “I don’t want to kill anybody,” he groaned, “You don’t understand anything, do you?”  
  
Merlin shook his head.   
  
“I only understand orders, Arthur. Like I said, I’m yours now.”  
  
“Does that mean I can order you around and you’ll do as I please?” asked Arthur.  
  
Merlin nodded.   
  
“That’s what a Fighter does. He follows the orders of his Sacrifice”  
  
“But I thought that was only in the battlefield,” said Arthur.   
  
“Those who take that relationship out of the battlefield are bound to have better performances during a duel,” said Merlin, “It’s better if you’re used to give orders, and if I’m used to receiving orders from you.”  
  
“Does that mean Morgana used to order you around too?”   
  
Merlin nodded.   
  
“Yes. This is why I’m here. Like I said, she told me to come looking for you and to become your Fighter if something happened to her,” he said.   
  
Arthur lowered his eyes.  
  
“Did she order you to love me too?”  
  
Merlin licked his lips before speaking. He was feeling nervous. He didn’t know why, but he really wanted Arthur to like him, at least to tolerate him. When Merlin didn’t answer, Arthur looked up, glowering.  
  
“Answer me!”  
  
“Yes,” said Merlin, letting out a sigh. That came out wrong. And yet, it was the truth. Arthur wouldn’t understand it. He wouldn’t be able to understand Merlin’s place and duties as a Fighter, not yet.   
  
Arthur stood up, clearly taking Merlin’s words the wrong way, the way Merlin didn’t want him to. At that very moment, though, Merlin sensed a change in the atmosphere.  
  
“I don’t believe this” Arthur said, and moved to leave.   
  
Merlin caught the sleeve of Arthur’s jumper.  
  
“Wait!” he said.  
  
Arthur shook his head and shrugged Merlin’s hand away.  
  
“I don’t want to talk to you” said Arthur.  
  
“Wait, Arthur, you can’t go now--” Merlin said, and stood up.   
  
Arthur started walking away. Merlin groaned.   
  
“Arthur turn around and take a look. Gwaine and Percival are here,” he said.   
  
Arthur stopped and looked over his shoulder. Gwaine and Percival were walking towards them with smiles on their faces. Arthur threw his arms up.  
  
“Great,” he said. He crossed his arms and started patting his feet on the ground, impatient.  
  
“Look at that,” said Gwaine, once they finally reached their side, “A lover’s quarrel?”   
  
“Get lost!” said Arthur.   
  
“I’m afraid we can’t do that,” said Percival, “We’ve got orders.”  
  
Arthur’s eyes narrowed at that.   
  
“It’s all about orders with you, isn’t it?” he spat, “You’re like machines.”  
  
“Aww, what did you do to him, Emrys? He’s so upset!” said Gwaine.   
  
“Shut up,” said Merlin, “It’s none of your business. Now leave us alone.”  
  
“That we can’t do,” said Percival, smiling condescendingly at them. He was ridiculously tall. He was wearing a thin jumper that clung to his muscles and made it very clear how strong and powerful he was. It was pointless. Merlin was the most powerful among them, and yet, he couldn’t help but feeling intimidated by Percival’s size. It meant that he was a resilient Sacrifice.   
  
“Like he said,” said Gwaine, “We’ve got orders. Arthur, you should really come with us. I’m sure you’d like to have a word with the heads of the Seven Moons. They could tell you quite a lot of things that Emrys here’s probably hiding from you.”  
  
Arthur’s cheeks flushed in anger.   
  
“I don’t want to have anything to do with the Seven Moons, or Merlin, or any of you,” he said, “You can tell your bosses that,” he said, and started to walk away. Merlin intended to follow him, but Percival grabbed Arthur’s arm.   
  
“Not so fast, Loveless,” he said, “I’m afraid we can’t just let you go.”  
  
“Let go of him,” said Merlin, glaring at them. He could feel his anger tingle, mixing with his magic, and pulsing under his skin, eager to get out.   
  
“I think you should reconsider your position, Loveless,” said Gwaine, smiling at Arthur and getting slightly closer to him, “We’ve been instructed to kill you if you don’t come with us.”  
  
Arthur’s eyes widened in surprise.   
  
“W-What?” he said.   
  
“I told you to let go of him,” said Merlin, his voice even and controlled, much unlike the anger he was feeling. So this had been their plan all along. Well, he wasn’t going to let them get through with it. He was going to protect Arthur. It was his duty. And he owed it to Morgana.   
  
Percival looked at him with disdain. He seemed to be ready to reply with something nasty, but at that moment, Arthur stomped on his foot, hard. Percival wailed in pain and let go of Arthur’s arm in his surprise. Arthur took the opportunity to push him away and started running.   
  
Merlin started off behind him, easily avoiding Percival, who was cursing under his breath, and Gwaine, who was laughing.   
  
“What an amusing brat!” said Gwaine, and yelled, “Freeze!”  
  
Arthur’s body stopped moving. Merlin caught up with him quickly. Arthur’s eyes fixated in him, terrified.   
  
“I can’t believe you twats!” said Merlin, now feeling really, really angry. He snapped his fingers in front of Arthur’s face, and Arthur regained control of his body once again.   
  
“What the fuck was that?!” he spat, turning to glower at Gwaine and Percival, who was looking far less amused than Gwaine.   
  
“They put a spell on you to control your body, but I’ve undone it,” said Merlin.   
  
“Such an extraordinary power,” said Gwaine, and his smile appeared sincere for a moment, “You really are something, Emrys, to be able to undo my spells just like that, with a snap of your fingers,” he said.  
  
“It’s a shame that you’re a traitor,” said Percival.   
  
“And a shame that we can’t stay to play. Hand us the boy, Emrys,” said Gwaine, slowly shortening the distance between them.   
  
“I’m not some bloody thing you can hand away,” said Arthur, “I choose not to go with you!”  
  
“You’ve heard him,” said Merlin, “Now get lost. I don’t want to hurt you.”  
  
“Aw, you’re scaring us,” said Gwaine, “Except no, not really. I’ve told you before. I think you should be dead. You’re a disgrace to us Fighters, so don’t give me an excuse to kill you.”  
  
Merlin’s throat burned with anger. It was clear now, the official position of the Seven Moons about him. After everything he and Morgana had done for them. He closed his eyes, trying to steady his breath, trying to keep cool. It wouldn’t do to have an outburst and lose because he was too distracted. He was better trained than this.  
  
“Are you going to fight?” asked Arthur, and it occurred to him that Arthur could’ve tried to leave again, if he really wanted to. But he was standing by his side, his hands curled up in fists, and glaring at Gwaine and Percival as they were getting closer. It was oddly comforting.   
  
Merlin took a quick look around. There weren’t any kids in the park any more, so this place would do fine.   
  
“Do you want me to?” Merlin asked.   
  
“Will they honestly try to kill us?”  
  
“Pretty much, yes.”  
  
“Did they kill my sister?” asked Arthur.  
  
“I don’t think it was them, but their bosses.”  
  
Arthur’s eyes narrowed.  
  
“Okay. Let’s battle against them, then,” he said, “I’ll help you.”  
  
Merlin smiled at this. Arthur was brave and determined, facing the unknown with his chin up, prepared to take whatever blow they’d throw his way.   
  
“Alright,” said Merlin. He raised his voice then, looking at Percival, “We, Loveless, challenge you to a battle.”  
  
“He’s at it again,” said Percival, “I can’t believe you’ve got the nerve to call yourself ‘Loveless’.”  
  
“Do you accept or not?” Merlin snapped.   
  
“Breathless accepts the challenge,” said Percival, his face somber. “We’re going to finish you, Emrys.”  
  
“You talk big, little man!” said Arthur.   
  
Merlin blinked in surprise. Arthur didn’t seem scared any more. Gwaine snorted, which only seemed to infuriate Arthur even more.  
  
“He’s really something,” Gwaine said.  
  
“Battle System initiate,” said Merlin, and they were quickly surrounded by a dark dome. “Come close to me, Arthur,” he whispered.   
  
Arthur nodded an obeyed him. Merlin took off his glasses and put them safely away in the inner pocket of his jacket. He unwrapped his scarf and handed it down to Arthur. Arthur didn’t say a word, but he put the scarf around his own neck. He wiped his hand on his tight before reaching out to grab Merlin’s hand. Merlin felt his power pent up at the contact, and curled his fingers around Arthur’s.   
  
“With a power so strong that will take your breath away,” said Gwaine and Percival at unison, pressing their palms together, “We, Breathless, shall defeat you!”   
  
“What is that?” asked Arthur, “They said the same stuff yesterday.”  
  
“It’s a spell. It helps them get in-sync for the battle,” said Merlin.  
  
“Can’t we do something like that?”  
  
“We don’t have one like that yet,” said Merlin, shaking his head, “But you can always kiss me,” he added, and smiled playfully at Arthur.   
  
Arthur twisted his mouth in displeasure, and two bright spots of red appeared on his cheeks.  
  
“I’m serious, Merlin!” he said.   
  
“So am I,” Merlin said, shrugging, but he turned his attention away from him, to his opponents. Gwaine had his right arm extended before him, in preparation to throw the first spell, Percival close behind him. Percival whispered something to him, and Gwaine nodded in agreement.   
  
“Rupture!” he yelled, his eyes turning golden, “A shockwave to burn them to the core!”  
  
“Resolve!” said Merlin, “Your energy can’t reach us!”  
  
And it didn’t. Gwaine’s rays of electricity faded midway. Merlin breathed out in relief. Even without Morgana, he was still in good form. He smiled to himself. This was what he was born to do--battles, duels, magic. He could feel his own power, pulsing through his body, in his veins. Arthur squeezed his hand a little bit, and Merlin stole a glance at him. He looked nervous.   
  
He returned Merlin’s gaze, and nodded.   
  
“Come on,” said Arthur, softly.  
  
“Our turn,” Merlin muttered, and directed his gaze at Gwaine again, “Rip! Like a sharp dagger tearing your chest in two!”  
  
“Defence!” yelled Gwaine, his face calm. He was overconfident.  
  
“Suspension! Your barriers are nothing to us!” said Merlin, and successfully cut through their protection.   
  
Percival cried out in pain, holding his left hand to his chest.   
  
“You alright?” asked Gwaine, throwing a worried look over his shoulder. Percival was gritting his teeth. Merlin knew he had to be in terrible pain, his spell had been very strong.   
  
“I’m fine!” spat Percival, “Just go on with it.”  
  
“Okay,” said Gwaine. He extended his hand again, “Restrain! Show their chains!”  
  
“Deflect! Use their magic and show us their chains!”   
  
Percival gasped. His wrists and neck were chained now, just like Gwaine’s. They were bound together. Naturally, Gwaine seemed unaffected by them, except for the worried looks he kept throwing in Percival’s direction, but Percival was doubled over now, with the pain. Merlin could feel the energy, his own magic, surrounding his and Arthur’s body. It was getting warmer now.  
  
“Are you alright?” asked Gwaine, hesitantly.   
  
“Don’t worry about me, just go on!” Percival said.   
  
Gwaine nodded and turned his attention back to Merlin and Arthur. Even though he seemed fine, Merlin knew that the chains were diminishing his energy, and that his next attack wouldn’t be as strong. He would find it difficult to concentrate now, too.   
  
“Suspension!” said Gwaine, “These chains cannot restrain us.”  
  
“Defence! Your magic is nothing against ours!”   
  
Percival fell to his knees, panting. Thick beads of sweat had formed in his forehead, and his whole body was tense.   
  
“He really seems to be hurting,” said Arthur, “Can’t you finish it quickly?”  
  
Merlin nodded, and said, “I’ll go ahead, then--Flatten! Finish them now!”  
  
A blast of energy swept through Merlin’s fingers and the palm of his hand, and it hit Gwaine upfront. It took a good deal of concentration, but Merlin knew exactly which places to hit to inflict the most pain without any permanent damage. He knew once the pain became unbearable, they would surrender.  
  
Percival screamed, and Merlin had to close his eyes to protect them from the glare of his magic. When he opened them again, the dome had disappeared. Gwaine had Percival’s arm around his shoulder, supporting him, but they were both sitting in the ground. Percival was pale, and panting into Gwaine’s neck.   
  
“Hang in there mate,” said Gwaine, smiling weakly at him, “It’s over.”  
  
“I know it’s over,” grunted Percival, “Fuck...”  
  
“I guess you won’t be bothering us again,” said Merlin, trying not to sound as relieved as he felt.  
  
Gwaine looked up to glare at him.   
  
“That’s not really up to you.”  
  
“Or you,” said Merlin, shrugging, “But I’m guessing they will have more sense than sending you back to us after this.”  
  
Gwaine chuckled.   
  
“You’re so full of yourself, Emrys,” he said, “I guess I would be, too, if I were able to change sacrifices and yet remain so powerful.”  
  
At least that one wasn’t entirely an insult. Merlin shrugged.  
  
“Goodbye, then,” he said, waving and turning around. Arthur was looking at them, eyes widened.   
  
Merlin unwrapped the scarf off Arthur’s neck and put it back on.   
  
“Come on, I’ll walk you home,” he said, softly.  
  
Arthur nodded. Merlin put on his glasses again, and started walking, knowing now that Arthur would follow him.   
  
*  
  
“Are they going to be okay?” Arthur asked, a moment later. He wouldn’t say it out loud, but he was a bit frightened. Was this the kind of magic that Morgana used to practice? Magic that could make people collapse in pain? At least this time he hadn’t been the one suffering. And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to feel anything but guilt at Percival’s pained face, and the looks of worry that Gwaine was throwing at him minutes ago.  
  
“Yes. I didn’t inflict any permanent damage. He’s just going to be sore for a few days,” said Merlin.   
  
Merlin. Who knew such a gangly-looking bloke would be so powerful? At some point during the battle, Arthur could feel it. Heat radiating from Merlin’s body, and engulfing Arthur’s. It was soft, making Arthur’s skin tingle, but it also felt strong and powerful, like electricity. Merlin was taller than Arthur, but his thin bones made him look smaller than he was.  
  
“You’re actually very strong, aren’t you?” said Arthur.   
  
Merlin smiled, and for a moment, Arthur got the impression that he looked smug.   
  
“I am.”  
  
“I wouldn’t have guessed it, looking at you,” said Arthur, musing.   
  
“Why not?” asked Merlin.   
  
“Because you’re only tiny,” Arthur said.   
  
Merlin raised an eyebrow.  
  
“I’m taller than you,” he said.   
  
Arthur frowned.   
  
“I know,” he said, and it probably made him look like Merlin had personally affronted him by being taller than him, but he was a bit self-conscious about his size. He was strong, but he’d yet to have a growing spurr like some of his classmates at his old school.   
  
“That’s good,” said Merlin, patting him on the head patronizingly, “That you recognize the superiority of your elders.”  
  
Arthur pushed his hand away, huffing indignantly.   
  
“Do not pat me on the head!” he whined, and stomped away, pouting.  
  
“You’re such a prat!” said Merlin, laughing.   
  
Arthur stopped, and threw a look at Merlin over his shoulder.  
  
“Merlin?” he said, his voice serious and leveled.   
  
“What?” asked Merlin, still smiling a couple of yards away from him.  
  
“Shut up.”  
  
“Is that an order?” Merlin’s smile was cheeky now.  
  
“Shut up!”   
  
Merlin laughed again, and caught up with him in a couple of long strides. He did have long legs, after all. It made Arthur feel slightly bitter.   
  
“Do you have to be home now?” asked Merlin.   
  
Arthur took a look at his watch.   
  
“Not for an hour.”  
  
“Good,” said Merlin, “Because I still have to talk to you.”  
  
“Oh that’s right,” said Arthur, his anger returning, “The whole ‘I love you because your sister ordered me to’ conversation. I don’t see what else you could say, really.”  
  
“It’s not like that, Arthur,” he said, softly, “Do you think we could go somewhere? After all that fighting, I’m hungry.”  
  
“Do you always want to eat?” said Arthur, shrugging.   
  
“Well, I’ve been blessed with a good metabolism,” said Merlin, “I can eat a lot without getting fat.”  
  
Arthur pouted.   
  
“Are you implying that I’m fat!”  
  
Merlin chuckled.   
  
“Wow, aren’t you sensitive? Smells like teen spirit...” he said.   
  
Arthur gaped.   
  
“Well, I am sixteen!” he said, “If you don’t like it, you can start hanging around with people your age.”  
  
Merlin laughed.  
  
“I’m not that old!”  
  
Arthur smiled, viciously. Maybe he had found Merlin’s weak spot.  
  
“Yes, you are,” he said, “You’re nineteen. That’s practically ninety.”  
  
Merlin laughed.   
  
“Prat! Do I have to remind you that your sister was older than me?” he said.   
  
Arthur got serious at the mention of Morgana.   
  
“Did she... did she really ask you to love me?” he said, “Like that?”  
  
Merlin sighed.  
  
“Let’s go grab something to eat, please? I talk better when there’s also food in my mouth.”  
  
Arthur rolled his eyes.   
  
“That doesn’t make any sense. But fine. There’s a good Chinese place nearby...”  
  
*  
  
Merlin ordered half of the restaurant’s menu. He threw a gleeful glance at all this food--rice, noodles, mandarin chicken, chop suey and an order of spring rolls. Arthur only ordered a Coke, to accompany him.  
  
“Where do you put all that?” asked Arthur, morosely, once that Merlin had began to eat.   
  
Merlin shrugged.   
  
“I don’t know,” he said, “But this is delicious. You should try it.”  
  
Arthur shook his head.   
  
“No, thanks,” he said.   
  
He did like Chinese food. He and his father had gotten take away from this place once. It hadn’t turned out well, though. According to Uther, Arthur used to despise Chinese food, and he got very angry when Arthur said he really liked what he was eating. He claimed that his son couldn’t possibly be saying that, and that Arthur wasn’t his real son, and all that crap that came out of his mouth when he was having one of his rage-induced fits.   
  
Arthur took a sip of his soda, wondering why the hell he’d brought Merlin here. Perhaps because he wanted to change that memory, the memory of this place, of these scents (according to Gaius, scent is the sense more deeply connected to memory), into something nicer. Arthur took out his camera from his bag.   
  
“Can I take pictures of you?” he asked Merlin.   
  
Merlin took a large bite of his mandarin chicken, and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Then halfway through it, he seemed to remember he had a paper napkin, and he reached for it. Arthur waited, playing with his tiny digital camera.   
  
“Sure,” said Merlin, grinning openly for him.   
  
Arthur took a couple of shoots of Merlin like this, and then he left the camera on the table.   
  
“Tell me about that conversation you had with Morgana before she died,” asked Arthur, quietly.   
  
Merlin nodded.   
  
“She came looking for me at the campus, in the afternoon,” said Merlin.   
  
“What campus?” asked Arthur, frowning, “Are you a student?”  
  
Merlin smiled.   
  
“I’m studying fine arts at the National University of Albion,” he said, a weird note of pride in his voice.   
  
Arthur raised an eyebrow.  
  
“You are an artist?”  
  
Merlin shrugged.   
  
“I love painting, that’s what I’m learning. Well, right now, people are much more into photography and digital media, but I like traditional painting. With oil and a canvas,” he said.   
  
“Yeah, you kind of look like an artist,” said Arthur, taking Merlin’s appearance.   
  
Merlin snorted.   
  
“Right. Okay, so she came looking for me to the campus. She set me aside and we talked privately... She told me that she feared for her life, that the Seven Moons were probably after her. That if anything happened to her, I should consider my duty to become your Fighter, and to look after you, and to love you,” he said, looking at Arthur with a straight, calm face.   
  
How could he say this kind of things without blushing or even hesitating was beyond Arthur’s comprehension. For a moment, he envied Merlin’s way with words. He seemed confident, and self-assured, something that Arthur totally wasn’t.   
  
“Just like that?” Arthur asked.   
  
“Yep.”  
  
“And you didn’t offer to protect her?” he said, narrowing his eyes.   
  
Merlin let out a sigh.   
  
“You think I didn’t?” he took his attention back to his food, “Yes, I did. But she told me she would deal with whatever may come on her own, that she didn’t need me for that.”  
  
Merlin’s features hardened. Arthur himself felt a lump on his throat. The Morgana, the kind, determined and strong woman Arthur had known and did remember seemed similar to this one Merlin was describing. It made Arthur fill with sorrow and melancholy again.  
  
“And then she died,” said Arthur.  
  
Merlin nodded.   
  
“And you don’t know who did it?” he asked, again.   
  
“Like I said, I’ve got a good guess, but I can’t prove it,” he said. “I can only do what she asked me to--not to pry, and stay by your side.”  
  
Arthur let out a sigh, feeling blue. He crossed his arms on the table and rested his chin on top of them.   
  
“If she felt in danger,” he said, uncomfortably feeling every word as his jaw moved over his wrists, “why didn’t she come to me? Why didn’t she say something?”  
  
Merlin shrugged.   
  
“I don’t know, Arthur. Morgana sometimes did incomprehensible things.”  
  
“You don’t say,” said Arthur, moodily. “How could she hide something like this from me?” he said, straightening up, and gesturing in the general direction of Merlin, “Magic, and... all that stuff. How could she not tell me?”  
  
Merlin observed him for a few moments, before saying, “Are you certain that she didn’t? Maybe she did, and you forgot?”   
  
His voice was dubious, as if he wasn’t sure he was stepping on dangerous territory. Arthur glared at him. His words were unwelcome, but only because deep down Arthur had been reckoning the same thing.   
  
“I don’t know about that,” said Arthur. He groaned, frustrated. “I wish I could remember.”  
  
Merlin reached out over the table, and covered his hands with his. Only then, Arthur realized he’d turned his hands into tight fists. He relaxed under Merlin’s touch. He didn’t turn his palms around to entwine his fingers with Merlin’s, but he didn’t pull away either.   
  
“It’s okay, Arthur,” said Merlin, softly. “You’re fine like this.”  
  
“No, I’m not,” said Arthur, “My father hates me because I’m not who I was, and I don’t know anything about myself. I don’t even remember enough to know if my sister ever told me she had magic...”  
  
Merlin caressed the back of his hand gently.  
  
“I think you’re fine like this, Arthur,” said Merlin, “You’re more than good enough for me.”  
  
Arthur glared at him.  
  
“That’s easy for you to say,” he snapped, “You go around telling people you love them. Can I even be sure that you’re being sincere with me?”   
  
He crossed his arms, putting his hands safely away from Merlin’s reach.   
  
Merlin looked at him, sadly.   
  
“I don’t go around telling that kind of thing to everyone, Arthur,” Merlin said, “And I do mean what I say.”  
  
“So you mean it, when you tell me you love me?” said Arthur, flushing with anger, “You can’t mean it. You don’t know me. You’re only doing what Morgana told you to! And that’s despicable!”  
  
Merlin shook his head.   
  
“If you don’t believe it, let me prove it to you,” he said.   
  
Arthur looked at him, skeptically.   
  
“I don’t want you to prove it to me.”  
  
“You said the same about magic,” said Merlin, smiling. “And I’ll repeat myself--I’m yours, Arthur. Ask me to do something, anything, and I’ll do it for you. I love you. If you want me to kill Morgana’s murderers, I will.”  
  
Arthur gasped, not believing his eyes. Merlin had to be out of his mind. How could anyone utter words of love and death with the same breath, without any remorse. But Merlin’s eyes were determined, and his words even and confident. Arthur felt, at that moment, that he could really ask anything of him, and Merlin would do it. It made him feel powerful, and the knowledge of that power made him feel a bit frightened.   
  
And yet, there was something he wanted.   
  
“Help me, then,” he said, “Help me find Morgana’s murderers.”  
  
Merlin remained silent for a moment, focusing on his food. After a couple of bites, he looked up at Arthur, and nodded determinedly.   
  
“Okay.”  
  
“Good,” said Arthur, “We can start now, then.”  
  
Merlin shook his head.   
  
“Not now. It’s time for you to go home.”  
  
Arthur stole a glance at his watch and grimaced.   
  
“Crap...”  
  
“You’re still on time,” said Merlin, “I’ll walk you home.”  
  
Merlin paid for the food in a rush and they left the restaurant quickly.   
  
“There’s something else I need to tell you, though,” said Merlin.  
  
“What is it?”  
  
“Morgana gave me this,” he said, and his hand disappeared into his jeans pocket. He took out a small keychain, just a plastic yellow star and a ring with two keys. He passed it over to Arthur.   
  
“What is it for?”  
  
“I don’t know. She told me to give them to you, if something happened to her.”  
  
Arthur groaned.   
  
“Great. She probably didn’t consider the possibility that I could lose my memory,” he said.   
  
Merlin shrugged.   
  
“Just hang on to it and maybe you’ll remember something, eventually,” said Merlin.  
  
“I guess that’s the only thing I can do for now,” Arthur said, and put the keychain away in his trousers pocket.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Comments are much appreciated!


End file.
